I would like to be the first to explain to you that if you've woken up with bruised knuckles this morning, it's because last night you tried climbing out of our car window and into the drive through window at maccas. The cashier chick freaked out and slammed the window on you and beat you around the head with her headset thingy.
Shittttttt.
Be not ashamed. It was youtube-worthy.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop texting my girlfriend.
i would really appreciate it if you would stop cock blocking me.
I puked last after eating a volcano taco and drinking vodka. I felt like a fucking dragon.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
I'm just gonna plan on never getting a bf. everything I touch turns to gay
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
I woke up in bed spooning a vacuum cleaner
The thought of you trying to procreat frightenes and disgusts me!
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