I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Don't try to dry clothes in the microwave. They'll catch on fire.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
I got shot at last night. Lesson about married chicks: learned.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
It's something I can't competently describe without making sex sounds.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
11/10 would buy him a McLobster
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