my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
i got iced as i was inside of her. i fucking hate my friends
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I AM COVERED IN FAKE BLOOD AND REAL CUM. I AM AWESOME
Someone touched my vagina when we were out last night. The fact that it was you is inconsequential and I am still counting it as a pull.
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
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I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Dude. I don't even want cuddles. I just want an acknowledgement that I just had balls in my mouth.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬