Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I'm so hungover that the internet is hard.
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
i think there mostly mad about the fact it was 6 pm not the fact i blew a .255
Just had a pleasant conversation with a mugger while he was taking off my shoes. Why can't I get along with people like this sober?
her body is proportioned like a family guy character
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.