she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Hey history final, how's it feel to be raped in the ass by my steel cock of ACADEMIC PERFECTION?
you are way too vulgar to be a girl
I'd have paid money to see Cookie Monster playing with a vibrator
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.