Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
almost just walked around my whole building with my bowl in my hand before i remembered 420 isnt a get out of jail free card
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Have you ever been up at one in the morning and thought to yourself, "I do not know nearly enough about penguin reproduction"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
You kissed my hand and then put a Taco in it. Why WOUDNT I leave my husband?
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize