just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
just peed on my foot to get a spider off. that lazy.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Idk tell her to wear something sluttty. I have that one skirt I got arrested in if she wants to borrow?
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
Randomize
