I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
laying in bed listening to christian music, jealous of the hope they have for their life. also need to beat off, can i think about you?
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
I hope I bought a crossbow. Also I need to not drink that much
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Mehhh. I just tried to type 'extremely', and it auto corrected to 'creek rot'. IT KNOWS WHAT I LOOK LIKE
you got coffee,laid,and a sandwich. that never happens when I work
I just found out that there's a bar that has happy hour at 12 pm. It's like the universe doesn't want me to be sober
He was like the most intimidating looking guy you've seen in your life except he was really shittily doing the two step
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize