I walked out of the bathroom and both of you girls were giving the gay guy head. I was like, "laaaterrr."
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
I told him to keep his feelings in his pants because they're annoying and to just fuck me.
Just puked off the 5th floor onto a car windshield. This is my life and I'm proud of it.
my vagina hasn't met your boyfriend yet ... makes me sad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
lesbians are really intense tho, she made me take her eye makeup off and told me she was going to eat me for breakfast
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
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