put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she said she'd get any tattoo I wanted ... so she's getting a large crossword puzzle as a tramp stamp. I'm the Einstein of doggy style
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
It's not Christmas until you get a photo from an ex wearing a Santa hat and red boxers... And then you just respond with, "nope."
I was drunk, but not drunk enough to forget I had some dude on his knees begging for forgiveness.
Randomize