Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Should I take my grandma to a keg tomorrow or not? Serious question
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
I immediately retract my statement involving hylecopters being allowed to blow up sharks out of the water.... The idea if it is super incredible but ultimately it would be cruel and unessesary
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
Randomize
