It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
there needs to be a "man fax report". like car fax. type in the guys name and bday and up pops all the bad shit he's ever done.
just found a beer in my hamper. even my laundry is a dirty alcoholic.
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He asked me to touch his mustache. Should I go home with him?
I get drunk and say inappropriate things... you get drunk and sleep with inappropriate people. it's what we do.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
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I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
He drunkenly stumbled over to me and told me my "crotch looks spectacular tonight"..... i think this could work
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
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