another moral hangover. fuck.
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
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Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I started sorting laundry at 6 am. He finally got the hint and left
Like I couldn't describe it to you but if they did a lineup of penises i'd be able to pick it out.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
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You may genuinely find a use for the siphon. But the bag of human hair is less likely.
HES DOING PULLUPS BE STILL MY BEATING HEART
My roommate was tripping balls last night, he kept me up all fucking night
Roommate? Please tell me you're not calling your cat your roommate
That would be a mascot riding an ATV at a semi-professional hockey game, if that doesn't sum up how I've been I don't know what could
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home