Just did shrooms. Don't feel shit! Wsasted 40 bucks on this! Nothing's happenig except for this little gnome on my shoulder and the couch is melting. Fuckin waste of money.
Taylor Swift is so right about you.
They told me I spent half the night at the club with one ball hanging out my shorts. Apparently it got me 1 free drink, 2 numbers, and thrown out.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
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Thinking about fake proposing to my gf just so the middle aged women next to us will buy us drinks
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
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Just got offered bathroom sex. I've never been more flattered.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
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