I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
my mom just asked me why she found a half-eaten burrito in the hamper
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
What's the big deal? you guys fuck
3 times is my limit. I don't even want to know you exist after 3 times
I'm shutting down my vagina temporarily...it's like the last two weeks were a going out of business sale...and now it needs a break...
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
all i remember is slapping you in the face with a slice of pizza while laughing maniacally.
They're letting me in by good graces, I can't show up with a fist full of dildos
I woke up this morning next to my computer with Google search results for "how to put out a fire."
I'm very scared to turn around.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
