I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
so, i drunkenly called my religious roomie because i was lost and told her if she couldn't come find me, jesus would condemn her to hell for not leading me to the light .. too much?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just put a sign on a baby carriage that says "all daddy wanted was a blowjob" might get fired.
Just me. You're probably having sex with her right now, so here's a reminder that you should be thinking of me per our agreement.
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Haha I'M GOING TO MISS HIS PENIS SO MUCH. But not his bipolarness.
3.5 bazillion penises. So not that hard to find a new good one
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
But really, what kind of hoe life adventure in Mexico would you do that would top me blowing a trucker?
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