I faked an abortion last night.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
How many ice cream sandwiches is an acceptable meal replacement?
2.5
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
I cant shower it involves moving...
Just lay there and turn the water on. At least rinse off the shame.
I think this girl gave me a handjob thinking that I would help her with her cell phone bill
omg. that's awesome
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
"They won't do it. I'm in the middle of darkness. " and "Probably going to die. I've been walking for 50 minutes in one direction" are the last texts I got from Steve
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