Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
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Just bought a german beer stein with tuition cash. no regrets
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
I offered you a bag but you said "I gotta break in the new carpet" and you puked all over the floor
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
I feel like I don't even know what's gonna happen when we first see each other. It'll be like explosions and glitter and a unicorn will run by pulling a sleigh of alcohol and sex.
burned my penis with a sauteed onion again.
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
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