when I'm not with you everything just looks like crayon scribble
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
I feel like our bond is deeper now that we're both sleeping with married men. now we're really bffls
You kept buying everyone Washington apple shots, and telling us we needed to support local produce.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
wait a second... your telling me you want me to take you to the bank at 10 on a tuesday so you can buy a blow up pool and fill it with beer?
yes... and buy you lunch
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm concerned that this blind man on the bus has a boner right now
Ramen still too hot to eat. Eating it anyway. Stoner girls feel no pain
And I wasn't CONVICTED of a felony, I just committed one
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
I'm not saying I love you. I never said I love you. I said that if earth blew up like Krypton you'd be the only person I would like to have inside me when our bodies burn up in a fiery inferno
really enjoying the fact I don't remember how the staff party ended. feel like I need to shame drink today
feel at noon?
Randomize