Is it weird I updated my facebook status from my phone while I had explosive diarrhea in my boss's private bathroom?
That would be awkward if he commented on your status
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
ok, she started talking about how she swears her step dad killed her mom. starting to back out of this one
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why would you fall asleep? This is why i cant drink with my lesbian friends anymore. They take my clothes off and get vodka in my top ramen. Only yoouuu can prevent forest fires.
I was stumbling so much, men walking behind us were shouting "don't hit the pole! don't hit the pole!" whenever I was near a telephone pole.
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
I keep having dreams where I tie him up and eat cookies off of him while riding him. Wtf brain.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
It’s so white trash that I almost have to have it.
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