My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
so i was dancing to the glee soundtrack with highheels. i tripped. and the dildo fell on my face. i dont know what happened.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
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