I heard we made out
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
apparently i'm really good at getting wasted, having sex all night, getting multiple hickeys and oversleeping father's day brunch. this is the third year its happened.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
I was so drunk. I apparently did a flip over the balcony using it as monkey bars. Ya I hurt a bit today
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
I asked for a cup of water. They gave me tequila. They WANT ME TO DIE
Basically we had a threesome in one room and a fivesome in the next room. Its what I like to call a win win situation.
I have post one night stand depression
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