I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
Can u check his last FB check in, then come pick me up from there. Blame it on the tequila
i admit it was a weird experience, but why regret what once made you cum
And I'm also limping. I just wish that I had self control. I'm 23 for fuck sake and I'm sitting at work, with mascara down my face, vomit on my clothes and an unknown black substance on my tits. How will I ever find my Greek husband if I keep this up?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
There's nothing classy about a pregnant girl at a frat party...remember that.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
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