Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
you're a mystery wrapped in an enigma. wrapped inside a burrito.
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
My text message history should be ashamed of itself right now.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I never thought I would be having sex behind a shower curtain that wasn't in a bathroom.
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Like my new perfume? It's a combination of Fireball, sex and bad decisions.
Randomize
