I am puke
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I got kicked out of an open bar wedding reception. The bride "felt threatened" by my presence. Not my fault she's ugly
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I've developed breathing exercises to keep myself from puking..
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
We're looking for the removeable roof from her Miata. Winner gets a 40.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
Just want to let you know thanks for setting the bar pretty low when it comes to girls.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I passed up getting laid last night. It's almost been a YEAR - what the Hell was I thinking, being so choosy??
Randomize
