all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
Omg my grandpa just told me he wants to die in his 90's shot by a jealous husband
onenightstand. Woke up and saw my nuva ring on the floor. apparently he thought it was a glow stick. pick me up please?
he didnt ask why there was a glowstick shoved up your vag?
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
i knew i liked her after she chugged tequila, fell down the stairs and said "oh dont worry i knew it'd be faster this way"
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
No, that was the night I helicoptered my dick to oncoming traffic. Im talking about the night I ran naked down the street.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
