I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
I am so horny. It's like all the stress of finals week has relocated to my vagina.
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