Apparently they shut down a cook out cause people were selling drugsout the drive thru. Nice to be home
i'm using a wine bottle as a spitter. how classy is that.
I am unfriending an ex-one night stand because his profile picture is of his wife's ultrasound.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
I'm going to talk him into letting me tie him up, and then just leave him that way and go meet you for fro-yo.
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
He has a penis. Therefore, he counts.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize