YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
You better be watching. There will be a POP quiz. Each correct answer gains you 5 more minutes of the sexual act of your choice
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
He's such a gentleman. He didn't even ask why my bra was flung on the seat of my car. He just took my snow brush, pushed it onto the floor and said, "Let's go I'm hungry."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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