Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I started dry heaving in the middle of sex and she says "You moan funny."
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Also, just had a student offer to sell me Xanax. Want some? Just for like a rainy day. Or our memorial day shitshow. Or just another Wednesday night.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Yeah, so, that moment when the repair guy comes in and you see your cock ring on the counter one second before he does.
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
