I thought you said his peep was too small
it is but i have no money and nothing is on tv until 7 when americas next top model comes on.
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
yeah I'm sure your grandparents are the best but it's halloween. get a slutty costume and let's go ham.
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
When I woke up today i said I will NOT sleep with her. This morning I did the walk of shame into work wearing the same clothes... How was your Monday?
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
