This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
The guy who took my order at mcdonalds asked for my number. I think we should start fucking fast food employees, they're easy and think we're goddesses.
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
I feel like I wont be making enough money to support my frivilous lifestyle of beer and mcdonalds
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
my still drunk mind thought "hey this is a really good time to stand in the middle of the street barely clothed in 20 degree weather at 4 am talking about the blow job i gave him soph year of high school"
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize
