Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
i either bought an eighteen year old girl or i'm engaged to her... i'm not quite sure
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
i would like you to please flash back to us blacked out in the bathroom when you told me i needed to take one for the team and have a threesome with you and jon to help your relationship. you then told me you had no issue putting ghb in my drink to make it happen.
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
My FitBit tracked the calories I burned during sex. Hello 2015!
...and if you can get the necessary ingredients to make the Buffalo Chicken Melt, I will latch forever at your Teat of Justice.
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
