would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i had to pay fifty dollars for throwing up in the limo, 60 fucking dollars to throw up all over myself
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
If we break up, I want weekend visitations with your penis.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You decided it was too difficult to walk down the stairs so you just rolled across his kitchen floor laughing like a maniac and trying to drink at the same time
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize