All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him I'd rather have sex with his father last night. I'll admit now that I was drunk.
Taking shots with an iv of fluids in, because I work tomorrow. That's responsibility. Employee of the month right here.
i think the title to my autobiography shall be, "a bottle of vodka and various pieces of meat"
and this is why you're my favorite gay friend.
Do you have any pictures of me mounting animals that aren't on Facebook?
I wanted sex but got Ace Ventura: Pet Detective, instead. Then I had to drive 30 minutes home wet. Worst booty call, ever.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize