I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
It was confusing and full of hummus
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
One of two things would happen: He'd love it, or you'd get a restraining order.
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't miss having sex with him. We had our finale fuck last week. He's all yours now.
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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