Bro, I met the coolest hottest chick tonight and she has the hottest friends.
Where are you?
Strip Club
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I'm not sure what happened last night, but I have someone stored in my phone as 'Aftershock'
Sorry for trying to give you my dresser last night. Are any of the drawers still in your car?
Hey do you want me to wrap up that Jack in the Box you left in my gutter
sooo... you have no idea who nailed their tubesocks to my wall?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Totally had a conversation drunk last night with a bisexual chick at my apartment in Spanglish too.
You're a hero.
there’s plenty of nice guys out there with good jobs and NO felonies!
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
Randomize