i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
areolas are like halos for boobs.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
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idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He was on my bed looking at me like a sacrifice to the gods of gay sex and he's definitely a bottom. Like Jesus Christ a really, really great ass of a bottom.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
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