I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
i ate her out in full view of all her roomates. the word awkward doesnt even cover it.
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
we promised ourselves we wouldn't get too drunk, and what happens? I wake up the next morning with half a mcdouble in one pocket and some barbie clothes in the other.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
Randomize