Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
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I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Caught in the act of lying. Lipstick literally all over his dick. He tried to make some story about darkwing duck or some shit but failed to realize he is a complete moron.
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
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I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
He took my Spanx off and still fucked me twice. I call that success.
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
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