I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
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He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
I blacked out after you got about 8 goldfish out of the tank and put them in your pockets. We're not allowed back. It was a sucky Walmart anyway...
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
he asked me why I let you steal the gnome, and you jumped out of the bathroom, yelled "you know why!" and ran outside with said gnome
Randomize