Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
some girl at the bar told me my beard would tickle every inch of her body till she joy puked her face off.... that was so random and odd i just had to buy her a drink for having the guts to say it to me. WTF
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
He walked up to anal ring toss like he was going to win you a teddy bear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
I'm laughing at the fact that I'm at Target right now buying vitamins and alcohol.
Left him blackout in the cab, gave 20$ to the cabbie and said drive until the meter said he wasn't getting a tip.
Bangkok has him now.
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
Randomize