Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
you kept trying to convince me i had aids because my head hurt
this girl im hooking up with thought my ring was a purity ring... apparently im taking it too slow
25 Children of Helicopter Parents Admit The Most Horrible Thing They Were Put Through
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
i think i have that disease where you wake up in strange places drunk.
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
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the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
We had 15 min before last call. Exact quote "let's see how drunk we can get."
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
hey u leave my anime porn out of this