I'm saving my limes so I'll know how many drinks I've had.
I do the same thing, but I use ice cubes.
i have your red jacket for some reason. and a good deal of shame and embarasment. note to self, wear underwear when you wear a dress. also, i was electrocuted last night. dont ask how.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
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the bouncer kept askin you for id just to see how long it would take you to find your pants
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
I think I need to donate blood to see if I have Hepatitis. Again.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
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He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
Apparently drunk me thought it was a good idea to buy $100 worth of band aids and stick them all over everything in the apartment.
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.