We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
You totally narrated your dogs thoughts for 2 and a half hours last night, and I was enthralled. I didn't say one word, I just listened.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
We had to coat check the pizza.
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I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
I'm sorry I make you whore yourself out to him everytime I'm drunk and want mcdonalds.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
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Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Can you bring home an IV stand and an empty bag so I can direct inject coffee for work tomorrow morning?
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
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