That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
"Guy Time" translaed into 10 shots apiece and me waking up covered in my own blood.
A letter to the campus apologizing for being sucha cunt with a picture of her head on it. All posted around campus.
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Best part of being a cop: When I showed up at Thanksgiving with stitches in my head I could tell them I was "protecting and serving" not "drinking and falling down". Career validated.
You can't just call animal control when you're drunk because there is a bug in the shower.
I am trying to take a picture of a man in a wheelchair trying to ship a michael jackson portrait
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
He said he would get me a helmet and bedazzle it with my name and address so the cabs would know where to take me
what do you mean he's functionally heterosexual
Theres about 23 grilled cheese sandwiches stuck to my ceiling and tomato soup all over the kitchen. You are never allowed over again. Ever.
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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