that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Why would you hook up with someone whos known for peeibg in someones mouth
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Nothing screams fatass like a pizza that doesn't fit in your car
I'm not drinking with you for AT LEAST a day
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
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