I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
For the record, saying you're friends with the owner doesn't work when the owner is the one throwing you out.
In fairness it was pretty good sex, but I still wasn't expecting the mass cheering and applause he got on leaving my tent
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Would it be sad if I made a blanket fort to get drunk in till the power came back?
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
