we have officially mastered the walk of shame
she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
There's gotta be a lawn gnome full ecstasy around here somewhere. And by golly I will find it
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
How does one acquire holy water?
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
Randomize
