haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
My dinner last night was 3000 calories of beer. Slept kneeling on the floor w/ my head on a couch
i don't know at this point bringing the fog horn might be a good idea...
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
We used the solo cup bag for her hair tie. Desperate times call for desperate measures.
You just wrote a check for drugs...pretty sure you don't have cash for beer..
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
It was like coming out my mothers vagina again in slow motion
Word to the wise, never look up your hot young doctors on Facebook before you're discharged. You will find things and no longer be able to take them seriously.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
You're lucky I just like fucking you because you would really suck at being a boyfriend.
Randomize
