I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
Sorry for calling you a whore in front of your mom. World cup brings the worst out of me.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Biggest penis I've ever pity fucked
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
Best feedback on my performance so far: "There are things that can't be unseen."
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
He wants me to fart in his mouth and is offering me SOOOO much coke. I'm stuck between a rock and a hard place. GIVE ME ADVICE.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
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