dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the outcome of this sandwich determines whether or not i do anything else with my day..
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
This text constitutes a formal request for sexual congress under the terms of our Relationship Agreement.
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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