You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
It's just like the Real World with babies
so how do you plan on seducing my econ TA?
by telling him that he has a large supply and that i demand it...in my mouth. it shows him that i'm slutty and that i pay attention in econ
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
I only had sex with him so I could try to steal his roommate's cat, what kind of girl do you think I am?
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
These beer shits have taken over my entire life.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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